Realization

Anonymous-
"This is really out of the blue, but have you ever felt just really lonely, but not lonely as in a loner type of lonely. I mean, surrounded by people all the time, really social, but felt out of the loop and frustrated because you don't have people that truly understand you? That's how I feel and I have a feeling that you might know how it is."

John-
"you have no idea... or maybe you do
but that is my entire life
i thought i had you but i realizd you dont fully understand me and i dont fully understand you
but thats ok
im happy for what i have and stopped being sad for what i dont have
i came to a point where i just started living
not worrying about having anything big
but the little things
like breathing, i imagine some people cant breathe or they need an oxygen tank or something like that
just exhale as much as you can then breath in as much as you can
its the oxygen in the air and you take it into your lungs and then the oxgen goes to your blood how cool is that
thats somethng that you will always have as long as youre healthy
you can take the sad-lonely and turn it into ready-lonely
youre ready for the next thing and no matter what it is, you have control over howw it affects you
you dont need people
being lonely is great
you win

i dont think im better than anyone by saying this
im just saying its my escape from hurting my walls or myself internally or externally

im not being naive either because i dont HAVE to give a shit about anything
if i want to then i will but it will be on my own accord
i won, _____, im happy
im lonely, not emotionally stable, i stutter and shake when im nervous, i push my opinions out to everyone especially the people who have polar opinions and im disliked for that,... etc.
but im happy because i have my hot air balloon to fly away and not look down because theres much more in the clouds
at first you see the neat little city on the ground and the clouds seem to messy to be of any value
but then you look deeper and notice they take the shape of anything they want
if im a cloud then im a cat then a turtle then maybe ill be a boat
then ill decide that ill like to join another cloud then ill break away and be a whale
if im the city then all ill ever be is a city i could be clean or dirty but to the clouds i will always look the same

hope this clarifies anything
dont ever be sad about anything
you can choose how you feel its all in your head"