I Feel Evil Creeping In

There is something wrong with my head. I act normal and happy sometimes then for absolutely no reason at all I start acting like I'm slipping into depression. i have a great life. but sometimes i think that i don't deserve it and no one really likes me and no one will ever like me and i should get used to being alone. then i am motivated and want to succeed in school and see my friends and give the whole world a hug. I don't know why this is happening to me. i don't know how i can stop this. I feel like im developing bipolar disorder. as long as I have known I have been like this but now it is getting more severe and more frequent and is actually starting to affect my life. I might need psychiatric help. or that might just be worse because I will be labeled as crazy and I couldn't get a job. I don't know what to do. the more I fight this the harder it hits me. I need help I need a cure. I can't keep living like this, i keep fucking things up that can't be fixed when i go back to being happy. let's go back to when I was a cute little kid without a care. back when I was stable. and back when I said things, drew things, wrote things, thought things that only I understood. well I guess nothing has changed in that way. i still want my old mind back.